Sufism

I have in the past week grown a little curious about sufism. My first exposure was probably in the film "Romancing the stone". I recall a group of warriors for want of a better term, with a joy of life and a particular outlook.

The thing that brought this to mind was an entry in my "zen - page a day calendar". The specific saying was:
Love the pitcher less,
and the water more.

Cool huh? A very poetic was of saying don't judge a book by its cover and yet so much more. So often we look at the shell of things, yet it is its contents, its purpose, the ordinary thing that nourishes us. One could imagine this being used to describe choosing a partner, don't love the way someone looks, rather what is within, for it is that which support you and help you grow.

It occurred to me at that point I didn't know much about sufism. So, I have ordered a book on the subject (The Shambhala Guide to Sufism) and hunted around the internet a bit too...

from my limited perspective so far i find it interesting. An Islamic tradition that seeks to find purity of mind/spirit by becoming and accepting God, a death of self if you like and the acceptance of something without into oneself. An interesting theme and it seems to me there is much history of wisdom in this tradition.

went back to reading up on taoist practice...

I had in the past considered internal alchemy to be the path for me. I knew it to be a long drawn out process that starts out refining and strengthening ones body and then developing an er, energy body I guess you could call it. I have now finished one of the principal chapters on these techniques and find that they aren't what I thought. Thats not true, they are but to do these things, to become that person I would have to become something I don't want to be. At least not at this time.

Still the internal strength stuff sounds cool - absolutely have to get better at finding time to practice though by crikey! Finding? One makes time for important things. I must make time for this if it is indeed important.

Things to do though...

Lost its track

Reading back through this blog i think its obvious that its track, train of thought or path or whatever has become a little bit distracted for want of a better word. Clearly then, so have I.

I guess I have covered most of the topics discussed in my first post but I do feel I am spending more time on games and toys now than I was before Christmas. I note that in mid-December I would look into the whole give as you earn charitable donation thing - a simple first step to contributing to the world and being a bit of a better person. This I haven't done either. Better do that this week, it is important to me but I seem to be easily distracted by acquiring things and my responsibilities at work. Actually I have discussed before the Taoist view on acquisitiveness. It is harder to go and do the right thing if you are anchored down by belongings. Each thing I buy adds to my responsibilities, my commitment to maintain it and drains on my resources - I am aware of this. However some of these things give me a freedom - purchasing my house feels like it is in this camp. It is by far the largest anchor and commitment I have but it frees me from concerns about where I will live and what if the rent rises etc. Acquisitive I am though.

One thing I have been able to do is share my belongings of late. A friend has recently bought a DVD player and is going through our collection of DVD's, similarly I have lent a number of terry pratchett books out - which by the way are superb. I'll stick one of my ubiquitous ads at the bottom of the post.

I intend to practice my t'ai chi today. I'll post at the end of the day and let you know how I got on.

happy Chinese new year BTW!!!!

spellforce

just finished it!
was most fun

played all the way through as an elemental mage. now, could play again as a different type of character, try the internet or move on to war of the ring, the next game i had lined up.
Internet i tried, not fun. the simply gamespy interface just isn't enough - the way blizzard did it in warcraft three is just superb. not so here I'm afraid. no no.
playing again as another character sounds fun, might do that later but war of the ring beckons.

wierd blog this, now i have clearly let games and computer bits cloud my path. well, for today at least.

Got me a printer

so thats the techy gadgets bought for this quarter methinks.
Odd blog this - I should have called it the tao for computer techie nerd type folks

Its Friday!!!!

As usual - had many thoughts and I only have time for, er well none, gotta go to work.
T'ai chi was fun last night - still need to practice moving, breathing, watching my balance, listening to the opponent all at the same time. tricky..

ordered the printer

so er, there you go.

not practiced my t'ai chi though. maybe after star gate sg-1 has finished on the telly...

toys

just got a new toy! the logitech quickcam messenger.

Cost me 28.99 - sweet dude.
Next thing will be a printer me thinks. seen a nice hp one I have... might come up in the ad below:

thats another fine class you've gotten me into....

T'ai chi was good tonight. Did a variant of the single hand pushing hands which was interesting. Designed as a flexibility exercise I think - something I've lost some of as well as the strength in my legs.

must practice..

late

off to bed

done well-ish today. rabbits clean, up a bit too late, spent some quality time with my other half, now to bed - bit late but to bed with me. T'ai chi tomorrow - cool

Discipline

I'm having issues staying awake at work. I think this is largely due to lack of sleep as one might expect - sleep more is the obvious answer!

obvious, easy - so why am I tired? The tiredness is a symptom, so what is the problem? Am I sleeping badly?? No, when I go to bed I am asleep pretty quick - partly due to my actively trying to stay relaxed in life.

So why? In spite of the fact that I am working, need to be awake and alert, I am choosing not to go to sleep in enough time.

Why? Perhaps there are too many demands on my time? Indeed, I have a house to look after, many pets whom I am responsible for, a partner I live with, family, work to do.

It is sadly not these that keep me awake but simply my compulsion to play games. It occurs to me now that work is not the only duty/responsibility that I have been neglecting. I have tonight cleaned out the fishies - bless 'em, but I ought to have done it a couple of weeks ago. The others could do with attention too. I need to address this soon.

I am facing the effects of an addiction here, to a small and inconsequential degree. I have spent to much time doing something. As a consequence I have not been what I should have been to those around me. I am not the one affected yet, but it is adversely affecting those around me in whom I have an interest and care about. In time this would lead to their alienation and ultimately to an unhappy lonely me.

My lack of practice at t'ai chi and other meditation techniques has left me lacking in my ability to concentrate and lack of sleep more susceptible to lack of concentration.

I am still tempted to spend an hour playing tonight, although i doubt i could do that until after 11pm. That would mean midnight, or knowing how I play, 12.30am. This is how it happens, easy.

early to bed, early to rise - makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise....

the path is clear, but its so easy not to follow it...

A weekend away

Just back from Brighton. My other half fancied a night away so we stopped down there.
Nice it was. The sea life centre is cool.

Anyhow, so am I still addicted? I believe that was my focus recently. Going back to work had the effect I expected, in that it calmed matters, although I have probably played it 4 or 5 days out of the seven this week. This is of course a massive improvement.

T'ai chi was good Thursday although I performed quite badly in the free-style pushing hands. A testament to my lack of practice. I would have whipped their butts at spellforce of course but er... well. Good game though, the story line is quite reasonable and the gameplay keeps me entertained for hours on end. I'll stick an ad in for you at the bottom.

Amusing, I remember talking to a 14 year old a month or two ago and I asked what he wanted to do with his life. He replied that he wanted to play playstation 2 games. I thought to myself this is what's wrong with society, kids don't want to contribute, don't want to work, just play games. hmm.... Perhaps he was simply honest about what he wanted to do with his life than I am. Given the opportunity, it seems I too would spend all my time playing games.

but I will play the game

No point in going cold turkey. I must find balance, denying something doesn't feel like finding balance - but then I would say that since I want to play it.

The cold thing is interesting too. A good number of people I know don't take drugs to treat the symptoms. I do. Did. Hmm... they did help, but ultimately the activities this morning felt like they releaved the bulk of the pressure I felt in my head which ultimately was the cause of the headache and groggy feeling.

It was odd actually, the pressure felt sinusy. I don't think that breathing, focussing and waving my arms around emptied my sinuses though. If you take the chinese view it would say that there was a build of energy at this point because of the sinus issue. My activities then cleared the energy build up not my sinuses then. Thats one explanation. Perhaps just relaxing helped.

hmm... drugs or arm waving. right now I seem to think both.

I'm curious what other people use to lift colds.

not playing the game

also got rid of my cold.

woke up groggy this morning and resorted to a chi gung clearing down exercise and a bit of the reiki dry bathing and cleared my head. generally feel alot better today. Interesting that I got the cold at a time when I was largely neglecting my practice and focusing too much on playing.

looking forward to the class on thursday though, been a while and i really need to run over the short form again as I really have neglected my t'ai chi practice. Also sat watching the new episode of stargate sg-1 - an excellent series.

nice to come back to a little balance.

I will admit though that the break has improved my perspective at work and my ability to perform.

I am an addict!!

I am addicted to spell force. Looked up the definition on www.dictionary.com as is often my wont and this is what I found:

ad·dict P Pronunciation Key (-dkt)
tr.v. ad·dict·ed, ad·dict·ing, ad·dicts

1. To cause to become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance: The thief was addicted to cocaine.
   
2. To occupy (oneself) with or involve (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively: The child was addicted to video games.
   

1. n. One who is addicted, as to narcotics or a compulsive activity.
   
2. A devoted adherent; a fan: We are all... addicts of change (Christopher Lasch).
   

Wow, the child was addicted to video games. To occupy oneself with something compulsively. Every spare minute I get to myself has sadly been spent on spellforce. It all began a wee while ago. I got really into warcraft 3 and was playing that a great deal - a fun and good game and in multiplayer far superior to spell force. I took some time off over Christmas as I was required to take my holiday. I had visions of me meditating and practicing t'ai chi in the garden during this time but this has not come to fruition. Poor weather and cat/dog doodoo in the garden put me off outdoor pursuits and so I was left practicing indoors - this soon diminished to a token effort though as I picked up homeworld 2, a game purchased some months before but that i hadn't played because I had been playing warcraft 3 incessantly. Homeworld 2 soon fell, completing it in several days but my thirst was not quenched - a new challenge please!

Now I have come to spell force. A game similar to the others but you get a principle character - an avatar. The more you play the more powerful you get. Where can I take this character, so many new challenges, so much to learn and do. A challenging game with just enough rewards to keep me playing far longer than I should.

I am sat here writing this in part to pull me away, but in truth I don't wish to stop playing - maybe play a little less before I lose all contact with the outside world.

Still, life is returning to normal, I'm back at work and t'ai chi class starts again in a week.

Truly my Christmas and new year have been a time of self indulgence.